Todd Jordan - Royal Oak, MI Geoff, the new busboy, misunderstands the head waiter's instructions and runs to the back room to "get George Bush's face" instead of "set George Bush's place"...

Joyce Santiago - N Tonawanda, NY I guess they didn't break the mold when they made these guys.

Jennifer Maslowski - New York, NY If I'm the other white meat, is this a mixed marriage?

Pravash Mukherjee - Norfolk, VA Everyone was anxious to see which celebrity would come out of the closet next.

Chris Campbell - Burlington, WI Hanibal Lecter's retarded younger brother makes a bad choice.

Manny Diaz - Murrells Inlet, SC Local proctologist finds ideal replacement tissue for radical hemorroidectomy patient

Pravash Mukherjee - Norfolk, VA Bjork reveals her newest Oscar evening gown design, known as "Pig-is-my-blanket."

Adam Cowley - Ottawa, Ontario While much has been made of Braveheart and Alexander the Great, most people don't know much about Sweden's great conqueror - Fat Dave.

Clint Walkingstick - Midwest City, OK I wonder what farm animal the other breast looks like?

Ely Moore - Wilmington, NC Living in a highly Democratic neighborhood, Jim had to choose his Halloween mask carefully.

Brian O'Neill - Seattle, WA The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Santa's plums danced in their heads.

Andrea Villanueva - Irving, TX Jenn was surprised when she found out what Tom meant when he put in his online profile that he was a real "charmer"...

Richard Jacobs - chester, CT India's first "Chippendale" shows how he invented pole dancing

Tyler Wirth - Alexandria, MN Emphysema?!? Who cares, YOU try ripping a patch off this every week!

Richard Jacobs - chester, CT The musical monks have devised a pennance that makes the hair shirt feel like an eqyptian cotton holiday.

Ryan Hank - Kelowna, British Columbia Shaun the Zoo attendee was fired that day, and his stash was never found. The park would later find 3 giraffes and a hippo with a strange case of the munchies.

Chandler Gray - Dallas, GA Joe needed to tune his duck call a little lower.

christine moller - edmonton, Alberta And just in case the food was bland, Diljit brought the ground pepper.

Ritchie Annand - Calgary, Alberta In the guide book "One Billion Things to See Before You Die", number 892,150,142 : The Child Fishers of Southeast Asia

Brayn Wolf - Ponchatoula, LA When your viagra kicks in and a cold shower just won't do.

Bryan Wolf - Ponchatoula, LA When your viagra kicks in and a cold shower just won't do.

Ann Tweedy - Leverett, MA Baby's got beak

Frank McLoughlin - Albany, NY Jeffrey Dahmer's take out.

Pravash Mukherjee - Norfolk, VA The Japanese Mobile Home... It gets 2 logs to the gallon...

Kathy McCrae - Weedsport, NY The, 'Fork in the road ahead' sign was burried during the bizzard, local firefighters had to improvise.

Paul Gallegos - Houston, TX After 45 minutes the judge realized they needed to be on the same log.

Melissa Manson - Birch Hills, Saskatchewan Tommy was mortified when he walked into the room to see his girlfriend in bed, with his much cuter half brother.

Stewart White - Prineville, OR After mating, the black widow usually eats most of her mate, but the triptafen often makes her sleepy.

Stewart White, Jr. - Prineville, OR After mating, the black widow usually eats most of her mate, but the triptafen often makes her sleepy.

David Williams - Nashville, TN The Pakistani attemts to get the Olympic Committee attention ends in failure once again.

Kathy Scheffler - Liverpool, NY I love it when youe whisper sweet nothings in my ear

James Thornburg - Columbus, OH The family of Pat Morita missed him so much that they all took a little something from his funeral...

John Killoran - W. Hollywood, CA The Ululates--the Middle East's answer to the Beatles--appear in a scene from their rollicking cinematic debut, "A Hard Day's Jihad".

Janelle Norris - Austin, TX "It was a mystery to all how Bill had managed to gnaw off his own head after waking up next to "Ugly Janis".

Kathy McCrae - Weedsport, NY Dirrections to the snack-bar weren't clearly posted at the Camel Races.

JT Street - san antonio, TX Sadly, the inaugural season of "Cirque de Soleil: Sumo Dreams" turned out to be the last.

Ward Donovan - Caro, MI Nintendo of Japan first introduced this primitive version of the Gameboy to mixed results.

Kristin Padukiewicz - Washington, DC New super-absorbency children, great for the husky mans drying needs.

Todd Jordan - Royal Oak, MI Jamaica Jerk and his fellow flight attendants from Condimental Airlines try to find the taxi stand before the rest of Mayo's uniform melts entirely, but Mustard has reservations...

Dia Adams - fairfax, VA "If the mask don't fit, you must aquit!"

Jim Grover - Conyers, GA Anytime, I wear this tie my Mother-in-Law gave me, I feel obligated to wear this mask in her honor.

Todd Jordan - Royal Oak, MI GM debuted its new environmentally friendly Chevy Sandala today. The automaker claims the Sandala gets 10,000 miles per sole and should be in showrooms by Spring Line 2006.

Sean Lawrence - Douglass, TX Yes, fashion is going to the dogs, I got mine at Oldnavy and he got his at Gap, but I did pay less though.

Justin kennedy - Los Angeles, CA The opening of the new REI in Islamabad.

Jeff Rankine - pickering, Ontario Well, I thought the Mussolini mask might be a little much for "dress like a despotic tyrant" Friday's...

Mick Devine - Astoria, NY The shores of the U.S. are a liitle more vulnerable with the new Dept of Homeland Security budget cuts.

Daniel Pearson - Rockford, IL Even animals in New Orleans refused to leave their homes.

Gayle Nwosu - Loma Linda, CA So this is what happens when you use your cell phone too much.

Grant Jenkins - Dallas, TX Just before crawling into the diaper disposal chute at the assisted living facility for the third time in a week, Curtis resolved that he had lost this bet for the last time.

Mark Smith - grove City, OH "Be there in a minute Laura, I'm still looking for those weapons of mass destruction."

Keith Van Norman - Henderson, NV sadly, in his disoriented and inebriate state, Mario staggered into the bakery and mistook the inverted mixing bowl for a toilet bowl.

Eleanor Lobo-Lee - Mississauga, Ontario "On my days off from the nuclear power plant, I love gettin' in a wee bit o' gardening"

Stefan Glidden - Rochester, NH One word -- Manzier

Andrew Thomas - Stilwell, KS We've secretly replaced this couple's grandchild with an 87-pound tumor recently removed from Mrs. J. Kent of Hertfordshire. Let's see if they notice...

David Williams - Nashville, TN I am not sure what you are looking for, but I think it is down and to the left....